{"id":18783,"date":"2017-01-30T11:42:07","date_gmt":"2017-01-30T16:42:07","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/panamaadvisoryinternationalgroup.com\/blog\/?p=18783"},"modified":"2017-01-30T11:44:52","modified_gmt":"2017-01-30T16:44:52","slug":"the-tough-way-to-help-kids-succeed","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/panamaadvisoryinternationalgroup.com\/blog\/the-tough-way-to-help-kids-succeed\/","title":{"rendered":"The tough way to help kids succeed"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"LoriMasthead2\"<\/a><\/p>\n

Lori writes this great story on how we do not let our children fail, fall and learn from their mistakes.\u00a0 We have become over protective and although we love our children, we must let them experience opportunities to struggle.<\/p>\n

There\u2019s something your children may not be getting enough of these days. Sure, vegetables come to mind. And so does sleep. But it\u2019s neither of those.<\/p>\n

A chorus of voices from economists to neuroscientists, educators and psychologists say the thing parents aren\u2019t letting their kids have enough of is adversity.<\/p>\n

I know. Where do you buy that, right?<\/p>\n

Dr. Paul Tough, author of \u201cHow Children Succeed: Grit, Curiosity and the Hidden Power of Character,\u201d started this ball rolling several years ago. Who better than a man named Tough to tell parents they\u2019re soft?<\/p>\n

Dr. Tough writes, \u201cAmerican children, especially those who grow up in relative comfort, are, more than ever, shielded from failure as they grow up. If this new research is right, their schools, their families, and their culture may all be doing them a disservice by not giving them more opportunities to struggle.\u201d<\/p>\n

He\u2019s right. We pick kids up before they hit the ground. We fight their battles for them and buffer them from the consequences of their actions. Then we wonder why they bail when the going gets tough. We never let them practice.<\/p>\n

Tough says, \u201cOvercoming adversity is what produces character. And character, even more than IQ, is what leads to real and lasting success.\u201d<\/p>\n

I can\u2019t think of Tough\u2019s admonition without thinking of our son\u2019s knee caps. He\u2019s missing the groove that holds the knee cap in place. He used to fall down at soccer games a lot and we didn\u2019t know why. Then one day a neighbor boy ran in the house and said, \u201cYou better come quickly.\u201d<\/p>\n

<\/div>\n

Our son was in the driveway where they\u2019d been playing basketball. His knee cap was dangling at the side of his leg. It was the first of numerous dislocations, casts and crutches for months at a time, three surgeries and endless physical therapy. After one of his surgeries, his leg muscles were so atrophied they sent us home with a contraption that would send an electrical current to awaken them. He was doing half-hearted leg lifts, I was grimacing every time I gave him a jolt of current, and he looked completely dejected.<\/p>\n

I got on the floor next to him and said, \u201cI don\u2019t know why you have flat kneecaps, but I know that suffering produces perseverance and perseverance produces character.\u201d<\/p>\n

He looked at me, eyes brimming with tears, and said, \u201cBut I don\u2019t want to learn character!\u201d<\/p>\n

I thought, \u201cYou and me both, buddy. But here we are.\u201d<\/p>\n

Nobody volunteers for adversity. Nobody waves their arms in the air and yells, \u201cOver here! I want to learn character. Choose me!\u201d Nobody intrinsically wants to struggle, do the hard thing, climb uphill or hurdle the roadblock. But sometimes, the very things we don\u2019t want are the things that build strength and character and forge an ability to endure.<\/p>\n

You can\u2019t teach a kid character, perseverance or fortitude in a workshop or a class. But kids can learn from physical challenges, academic struggles, small failures and big disappointments. Of course, that\u2019s providing parents will back off and let them.<\/p>\n

Subscribe to Lori<\/a><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

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