{"id":12299,"date":"2014-12-30T17:14:22","date_gmt":"2014-12-30T22:14:22","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/panamaadvisoryinternationalgroup.com\/blog\/?p=12299"},"modified":"2014-12-30T17:14:22","modified_gmt":"2014-12-30T22:14:22","slug":"understanding-engineers-1","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/panamaadvisoryinternationalgroup.com\/blog\/understanding-engineers-1\/","title":{"rendered":"Understanding Engineers #1"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"Apple\"<\/a><\/p>\n

Two engineering students were biking across a university campus when one said, “Where did you get such a great bike?”
\nThe second engineer replied, “Well, I was walking along yesterday, minding my own business, when a beautiful woman rode up on this bike, threw it to the ground, took off all her clothes and said, “Take what you want.”
\nThe first engineer nodded approvingly and said, “Good choice: The clothes probably wouldn’t have fit you anyway.”<\/p>\n

Understanding Engineers #2
\nTo the optimist, the glass is half-full. To the pessimist, the glass is half-empty. To the engineer, the glass is twice as big as it needs to be.<\/p>\n

Understanding Engineers #3
\nA priest, a doctor, and an engineer were waiting one morning for a particularly slow group of golfers.
\nThe engineer fumed, “What’s with those guys? We must have been waiting for fifteen minutes!”
\nThe doctor chimed in, “I don’t know, but I’ve never seen such inept golf!”
\nThe priest said, “Here comes the greens-keeper. Let’s have a word with him.” He said, “Hello George, What’s wrong with that group ahead of us? They’re rather slow, aren’t they?”
\nThe greens-keeper replied, “Oh, yes. That’s a group of blind firemen. They lost their sight saving our clubhouse from a fire last year, so we always let them play for free anytime!”
\nThe group fell silent for a moment. The priest said, “That’s so sad. I think I will say a special prayer for them tonight.”
\nThe doctor said, “Good idea. I’m going to contact my ophthalmologist colleague and see if here’s anything she can do for them.”
\nThe engineer said, “Why can’t they play at night?”<\/p>\n

Understanding Engineers #4
\nWhat is the difference between mechanical engineers and civil engineers? Mechanical engineers build weapons. Civil engineers build targets.<\/p>\n

Understanding Engineers #5
\nThe graduate with a science degree asks, “Why does it work?”
\nThe graduate with an engineering degree asks, “How does it work?”
\nThe graduate with an accounting degree asks, “How much will it cost?”
\nThe graduate with an arts degree asks, “Do you want fries with that?”<\/p>\n

Understanding Engineers #6
\nThree engineering students were gathered together discussing who must have designed the human body.
\nOne said, “It was a mechanical engineer. Just look at all the joints.”
\nAnother said, “No, it was an electrical engineer. The nervous system has many thousands of electrical connections.”
\nThe last one said, “No, actually it had to have been a civil engineer. Who else would run a toxic waste pipeline through a recreational area?”<\/p>\n

Understanding Engineers #7
\nNormal people believe that if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it. Engineers believe that if it ain’t broke, it doesn’t have enough features yet.<\/p>\n

Understanding Engineers #8
\nAn engineer was crossing a road one day, when a frog called out to him and said, “If you kiss me, I’ll turn into a beautiful princess.”
\nHe bent over, picked up the frog, and put it in his pocket.
\nThe frog spoke up again and said, “If you kiss me, I’ll turn back into a beautiful princess and stay with you for one week.”
\nThe engineer took the frog out of his pocket, smiled at it and returned it to the pocket.
\nThe frog then cried out, “If you kiss me and turn me back into a princess, I’ll stay with you for one week and do anything you want.”
\nAgain, the engineer took the frog out, smiled at it and put it back into his pocket.
\nFinally, the frog asked, “What is the matter? I’ve told you I’m a beautiful princess and that I’ll stay with you for one week and do anything you want. Why won’t you kiss me?”
\nThe engineer said, “Look, I’m an engineer. I don’t have time for a girlfriend, but a talking frog – now that’s cool.”<\/p>\n

And Finally
\nTwo engineers???
\nTwo engineers were standing at the base of a flagpole, looking at its top.
\nA woman walked by and asked what they were doing.
\n“We’re supposed to find the height of this flagpole,” said Sven, “but we don’t have a ladder.”
\nThe woman took a wrench from her purse, loosened a couple of bolts, and laid the pole down on the ground. Then she took a tape measure from her pocketbook, took a measurement, announced, “Twenty one feet, six inches,” and walked away.
\nOne engineer shook his head and laughed, “A lot of good that does us. We ask for the height and she gives us the length!”
\nBoth engineers have since quit their engineering jobs and are currently serving in the United States Congress.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

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